Hello, my name is Maresi, and I am a perfectionist.
How do I know? I know because all of what I am about to copy down here applies directly to how I’ve lived my life.
(sooner or later, you’ll all buy this book for yourselves and can tell me ‘Shut up! I’ll read it myownself! Or perhaps I won’t! That’ll show you!’)
“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving for excellence. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is a defensive move. It’s the belief that if we do things perfectly and look perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame… Perfectionism is not self-improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Most perfectionists grew up being praised for achievement and performance… Somewhere along the way, they adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: ‘I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please. Perform. Perfect.’ Healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: What will they think? Perfectionism is a hustle…” – Brené Brown, Daring Greatly
That’s me, and I didn’t even know it! I never put the pieces together, that my avoidance of certain things was due to my desire to minimize the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. Big stuff going on here, kids. More news as it happens.